STATS (with Over the Garden Wall Spoilers)

[singloversing]

Name: Wirt
Age: 15 (+ 3 Wonderland Years)
Birthday: January 28th, 1974
Canon: Over the Garden Wall
Timeline: After Mad Love but before Lullaby in Frogland
Home World: Amherst, Massachusetts - Halloween 1989. Was trapped in The Unknown when he arrived and was trying to find a way back home from there. Also may or may not currently be at the bottom of a pond/river
Arrival Date: December 1st, 2014
Room: 3rd Floor, Room 18
Deaths: 1/5 (+ 1 Freebie Deaths)
Forgotten Words + Memories: Tavern

Special Items:

• Red Cone-Shaped Hat: Was originally a Santa hat before he removed the fluff from the bottom. Part of his gnome costume. Was wearing it on arrival and continues to wear it more often than not. but no longer wears it as of 11/1/17.


• World War II Nurse's Cape: Family Heirloom found in his attic, once belonged to his maternal grandmother. He borrowed it as part of his gnome costume. Was wearing it on arrival and continues to wear it more often than not. but no longer wears it as of 11/1/17.


• Vendor Gift Card: Given to him by Wonderland for Christmas 2015; good for one (1) free item from the vendors of his choice.


• Poetry Notebook: Plain blue notebook inside his Davenport - HANDS OFF.


• Handwritten Poetry: Original compositions ripped from his notebook and taped to the wall - OH MY GOD STOP LOOKING AT THEM (Poetry before July 2015 stolen)


• A Ravel RCL102 Bb Clarinet: It is brand new from the closets and he is trying to take extra good care of it for that reason, but at the same time he's also trying to break it in so he's not so rusty and has been practicing more often, usually in the music room.


• Holy Mace: Given to him by Cami on 4/20/15, for self-defense against demons. Used on Kaneki 5/20/15, no more uses left.

Important Events:

• December 1st, 2014: Arrival in Wonderland! He arrives with his younger brother Greg out in the woods, and the woods of the Unknown simply fade into the woods of Wonderland with no clear point of arrival. It is an accidental broadcast, caused by Greg trying to eat the network device. Meets Emma Swan, Charlie Bradbury, the Pie Maker, Panne, and Coach Beiste, and also reunites with Beatrice (who is about 24 hours ahead of them).


• December 7th, 2014: Still getting used to being a guest in Wonderland, Wirt explores the library one sleepless night. He meets a man who introduces himself as Victor Beaufort, and discovers he's a fellow fan of Romantic-era poets. He's a scholar and Wirt is immediately a fan.


• December 8th, 2014: Wirt meets Elphaba, who is the Wicked Witch of the West! They have a chat about fiction and anarchy and he tells her about Ms. Langtree's school for animals.


• December 10th, 2014: Greg causes a frog flood and Wirt doesn't have the heart to tell him the nameless frog he originally caught probably isn't actually there. Also he makes the greatest pun of his life and it goes unappreciated.


• December 12th - December 14th, 2014: Wirt and Beatrice try the Christmas cookies, since the mansion won't give them anything else for breakfast, and get turned into little kids, and they go run around and play together. Wirt is about six years old and happily accepts Greg as his new big brother his parents never told him about (since Greg's been six longer). He also meets a boy named Johnny and has cocoa with Coach Beiste.


• December 21st, 2014: Beatrice eats the fruitcake, which makes her angry and irritable. She blames Wirt for not being able to become a human again, and Wirt learns she was planning on selling him and Greg to Adelaide as child servants. He is understandably not pleased and he cuts ties with her immediately.


• December 25th, 2014: Christmas! Receives a Vendor Gift Card from the mansion and has absolutely no idea what to do with it.


• December 27th, 2014: Wirt meets Cami when he expresses concern about her opening a therapy practice since everyone seems to be way too comfortable just settling down in Wonderland. Ends up revealing more of his own insecurities and troubles than he means to, and accidentally acquires a (very casual, never-going-to-call-her-his) therapist in the process. He talks to her about Beatrice and she points out some things he never thought about before, like how he must be a good friend to her to keep her from doing something she'd regret. He's still unsure what he wants to do, but...he feels a little better.


• January 21st, 2015: Vanessa Ives hosts a ball! Greg wants to go, so Wirt suits up and joins him, but spends most of the night on the edges of the crowd. Cami gets him to dance with her, and he speaks to Coach Beiste. He also meets Kaneki and awkwardly fails to avoid Beatrice. Also, Wirt is a terrible chaperone for Greg and he stole a pie for Panne.


• February 1st - February 4th, 2015: Wirt becomes a marionette and it is super embarrassing. He also meets Brittany while she is a doll.


• February 14th, 2015: Valentine's Day! Greg makes Wirt a box for valentines that is literally covered with birds.


• February 20th - February 23rd, 2015: Memory-room/Emotion-sharing event! Wirt's memory room contained the memory of the first time he ever got to sit and talk with Sara alone. Beatrice's memory is of her and Wirt as children a couple months ago. She's become human since then, and she and Wirt finally make up after their fight about Adelaide. This is made a little easier by the fact that Wirt spent the event sharing emotions with Greg (and vice versa, unfortunately). Greg's memory room is waiting at the bus stop with Wirt where Wirt promises to take him on a frog hunt. Wirt doesn't actually remember it that clearly, because he hadn't been paying attention when he made the promise.


• February 27th, 2015: Bonfire night! Wirt does the good sibling thing and nervously supervises Greg throwing his wish in the fire. Wirt wished to go home for his own wish-burning. Later, he and Beatrice sit and watch the fireworks and bond over families.


• March 6th, 2015: Greg goes back to the Unknown and Wirt freaks out because he assumed they would leave together since they arrived together. A lot of people turned up to give him advice (Kaneki, Brittany, and Coach Beiste - and he met Lily, Alex, Lydia, and Carlos for the first time) but most of it was unsatisfactory, since it relied on just having faith Greg went home. Carlos' scientific approach helped though. The Pie Maker, Victor, Lily, and Beatrice all helped look for Greg, or at the very least offered to, and Cami came out to console Wirt at the end of his search. Eventually Wirt reaches the conclusion that Greg must have gone back, because otherwise Beatrice (who is further along in time than they are) would have remembered him going missing.


• March 8th, 2015: Wirt meets April, and they talk about breakfast babies and why evil queens are bad role models.


• March 21st - March 25th, 2015: Memory Swap Event! Wirt gains the memories of Teddy and a few of his own memories go to Dean Winchester. After an an embarrassing encounter with Teddy's boyfriend Billy, meeting Teddy at the coffee shop, and Dean scaring the crap out of him, everyone's memories went back to where they belong.


• March 31st, 2015: Wirt tries to help newbie Dipper, but gets accused of being a gnome.


• April 6th, 2015: Wirt tries to help newbie Mabel, but gets accused of being a gnome. Again. She's Dipper's twin sister and once she trusts he's not really a gnome, she starts to crush on him a bit.


• April 9th - April 13th, 2015: Game of Thrones Event! Wirt is in House Tully (formerly of House Stark). He and Beatrice fight over his poetry notebook and she reads his terrible sappy poetry. Dipper tries to see if Wirt is actually a bunch of gnomes standing on top of each other. He also tries to recruit him as an ally for the Great Ball Pit War, but doesn't like Wirt's stance of "It's April declaring war, so you should probably just give up and make a new ball pit".


• April 20th, 2015: Wirt meets Amethyst, who tries to make him eat mac and cheese dust. He also goes to visit Cami's new therapy office, to test the comfy-ness of her furniture. During this conversation he obtains Holy Mace.


• April 28th, 2015: After almost five whole months, Wirt finally decorates his room and obtains a clarinet. He decides to practice in the music room and attracts a lot of passerby attention (Amethyst and Dipper, and he meets Carl and Hana for the first time)


• May 1st - 3rd: Hot Spring Event! Wirt is not a fan of having to bathe with everyone else and attempts to become a nocturnal person in order to evade everyone. It doesn't work well. He runs into Dipper, Carl, and Amethyst the Crocodile.


• May 5th, 2015: Wirt meets the Librarian Evelyn and is intrigued by her archaeological dig.


• May 11th, 2015: Wirt meets Ellie after she throws a brick and scares the crap out of him.


• May 20th, 2015: Kaneki loses his cool and tries to eat Wirt. Wirt's bitten, but he gets away by spraying Kaneki in the face with the Holy Mace Cami gave him.


• June 1st, 2015: He talks to Ellie again and learns a little more about her world, which sounds terrible. He also meets Bill Cipher, temporal tourist.


• June 8th, 2015th: Things get really awkward with a girl named Mikan.


• June 12th - 15h, 2015: Ghoul event! Wirt becomes a Ghoul, and believes he was always a Ghoul. He suffers through the first several days of hunger, trying to ignore it, but eventually he cannot any longer. He's starving and his head hurts and he restrains himself, but Bill Cipher turns up to tempt him and releases him so he can go feed. Amethyst catches him though, and locks him in another room. Also meets with Dipper, Kaneki, Ellie, Nageki, the Pie Maker and Cami.


• June 20th, 2015: James Potter and Lily Evans get married! Wirt was a little anxious about going, but ultimately decided it would be weirder to not be there. He even manages to be somewhat social - he bickers with Dipper about the 80s and Ghostbusters, Amethyst gets him to dance a little, and he meets Mabel for the second time, who gives him a pep talk on confidence and listens to deep dark secrets about his love life. Also briefly chats with Cami


• June 25th, 2015: Beatrice returns after being missing for a couple of weeks. It doesn't last long.


• July 4th, 2015: Wirt talks to Evie, and still doesn't know what a tablet is.


• July 16th - July 24th, 2015: Mirror Shenanigans! Wonderland begins to rip apart at the seams, leaving mysterious rifts in the air that teleport people from one location to another (including to Mirror Side). Wirt aims to ignore them, and runs into Dipper, Mabel's and Amethyst's Mirrors in the process (and also the Real Victor, which is a much more pleasant conversation). Then, his own Mirror swaps places with him, traps him on Mirror Side, and steals his hat and a whole bunch of his poetry! While on Mirror Side he meets up Dipper and Mabel (who definitely warn him against trusting Bill), and also meets Kaneki's Mirror who treats him much better than the other Mirrors have. His Mirror meets Cami while all this is happening, and tells her his story.


• August 13th - 17th, 2015: Wirt doesn't listen to Dipper and Mabel and makes a deal with Bill Cipher to try and return home, and Bill proceeds to use him as a literal puppet! Mabel, Amethyst, Dipper, Nageki, Zelena, Cami, Kaneki, Victor, and Sirius are all disturbed by the antics of Birt for the next couple of days. By the 15th, Bill has worn out Wirt to the point of collapse, and after taking a day of rest Cami calls him and after visiting in person she is absolutely furious someone took advantage of him that way.


• August 24th, 2015: In a weird twist of fate, Beatrice returns to Wonderland right after the Bill debacle - however, this time she's a bird again and doesn't remember anything, including the fact that they already fought about Adelaide and made up. Wirt fears this might be his fault, for making a deal with Bill.


• August 31st, 2015: Dipper and Mabel's birthday! Wirt spends most of it on the edges of the party, talking to Beatrice. He got Dipper a copy of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and Mabel a copy of Pretty in Pink.


• September 1st, 2015: Dipper invites Wirt to play DD&MD!


• September 8th, 2015: April Ludgate, what the actual fuck is a blood orphan.


• September 12th, 2015: Wirt talks to Elphaba about the Unknown.


• DATE: Summary


• DATE: Summary


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• DATE: Summary